If you are not a woman like that yourself you probably have a friend who is like that. The kind of woman who wants to help everyone all the time, especially guys. She wants to be there for everyone, ready to go on a first call, will spend the last amount of time/energy/sometimes money to help those in need. Isn’t it how a true woman should be – kind and selfless? Well, yes and no. Moderation should still be in everything, even in that kind of behavior. So what dangers of help there maybe?
Before I drop the bomb, I would like to share some stories that may sound familiar, and unfortunately are very common usually. Almost every woman has one very dangerous habit – to give the last and be left with nothing. And sometimes it is not even about helping someone so much but out of the necessity to feel love and loved. If a woman is honest to herself, oftentimes that would be the real reason.
A Path To Depletion
So it starts with an enthusiastic service to someone, full of motivation and energy. And eventually, when a woman is completely drained and depleted, she is left emptied and alone, with no energy at all. When it happens, a woman really does not know what to do and where to go. She starts looking for ways to get energized again, trying to sleep a lot, or maybe eat a lot, but more often than not this realization comes very late, when a woman reaches a point of no return, so to speak. (Fear not, there are ways to resuscitate too! The important part is to acknowledge what is happening first.)
Usually, we understand that we are pretty drained at the point when we cannot do anything else but lay there, lifeless. It is important to listen to yourself for this reason so that we can understand when to stop and when to rest. For a woman it is vital. Because when we are depleted, we start blaming ourselves and eat ourselves alive too, feeling hurt or guilty or wronged too. Our plans fall apart and we don’t have time to do anything. We start looking for additional help, already looking like a ghost, when it would have been wise to stop way earlier and give ourselves much-needed relaxation.
At the point when we finally understand all that, we need a tremendous amount of energy and time to restore ourselves fully. Much more that we would need had we realized it earlier. This horrible habit to burn ourselves completely with help without thinking about our loved ones, our home, our tomorrow when our energy is needed. We forget about ourselves and put ourselves last. But is there a way to stop it? What are some hints that we should have listened to to understand what is happening to us? Is there a way to know when to take a break from help? Yes, there are, and those are some things we can notice if we pay enough attention and become a little more aware. Here they are.
Signs of Woman’s Emotional Drainage
Those are the signs that you are about to hit emotional rock bottom, and it is a serious red flag to stop what you are doing now and reset completely.
ꕥ You look bad. Especially your eyes, because they look dull and lifeless.
ꕥ You don’t sleep well. You have lots of thoughts in your head when you are in bed. You cannot fall asleep or stay asleep, and that insomnia makes you look even worse.
ꕥ You are very irritable. Other people irritate you a lot, family or strangers, do not matter. You get irritated by what they say or do.
ꕥ You cannot keep house plants alive. This is one of the signs that a woman’s energy is depleted ( if we want to be specific – Moon energy) and when there is a disconnection with a feminine side. No matter how hard you take care of them and follow instructions, they don’t stay alive or don’t want to grow.
ꕥ You eat too much everything and all the time. You don’t really taste the food, you just consume everything. This, in turn, increases your weight.
ꕥ You eat too little. And you sometimes forget to eat too. You either don’t have an appetite or you don’t have time. So you are empty all the time.
ꕥ You have issues with cooking food. You either cannot cook at all or the food turns out bad. You don’t have the desire or motivation to cook. Usually, that means that it is really time to relax and have a lot of rest.
ꕥ You get sick a lot. And that is a way our body makes us stop because only then you can finally lay down and have rest. So usually every early sign of the disease is your red flag to review what you are too busy with and stop.
ꕥ You are often depressed and pessimistic. This is one of the signs it is time to change things because negativity does not come out of anywhere. If you have a tendency to be pessimistic, take a serious vacation.
ꕥ You are often lazy. You don’t want to do anything, from chores around the house to even a shower. This is a serious sign of depletion. Especially if you actually want something but do not have enough motivation to do it and just spend time on your phone all the time, this is a sign of relaxation need.
ꕥ You don’t want to see anyone and socialize. Occasionally it is okay but if it is all the time, it is not good. Women like communications and get-togethers. And if you don’t want to talk to anyone at all and it lasts more than two hours, that means something is wrong.
ꕥ It is very hard for you to wake up in the mornings. And then you constantly want to sleep. This is a direct sign of serious exhaustion not only of your body but also of your heart.
ꕥ You pick up fights with your loved ones easily often over nothing. And it is really not their fault. It is a sign to have a good rest.
ꕥ You don’t want to take care of yourself. When you are not in the mood to brush your hair or put on a new outfit all the time, and when you don’t care about your face, eyebrows, and skin, this is a serious symptom of exhaustion.
When you think that it is too bad that there is only one you and not ten, and you just don’t know how to ask for help, that means you spend more than you save.
ꕥ You don’t like yourself. And as a result, you don’t want to buy anything for yourself. You don’t want to put beautiful clothes on this body, and makeup on this face. And you don’t want to touch this hair. You don’t want to look at yourself and have your pictures taken.
ꕥ You spend all the money on someone else. This is when you go to the store with plenty of money and buy a lot of things for anyone but yourself. A good sign too.
ꕥ When you don’t want any gifts. When someone asks you “What do you want?” and you don’t know what to say, it feels like you don’t want anything.
ꕥ When you dress comfortably all the time. All the time. You don’t pick what to wear based on whether you like it or not, you pick it based on the level of comfort. So, when you always think that these sweatpants are great to run errands and walk the dog, or that t-shirt is good to clean the house, you took a wrong turn already.
ꕥ You have too many needs in your had, needs to do something. You need to do this and that, and all of the time. You have to check the task of or finish that project. That is a big sign of internal tiredness.
ꕥ When you want to do everything yourself and think that no one will do it well. As soon as you start thinking that you are by yourself and only you can do it and no one else can, that is a sign. Also when you think that it is too bad that there is only one you and not ten, and you just don’t know how to ask for help, that means you spend more than you save.
Doing Nothing Is The Solution
How many signs did you find? Even if just one, it is time to stop and reflect, and to change things. The best thing you can do is – nothing! One of my favorite recommendations for women when they are exhausted. And it is one of the most beneficial things in the world for us, trust me. In our constantly rushing world, it seems like nonsense, but it is not. And you have my full permission to pick a day and do nothing all day long. The nicest and completely useless thing for you now is the best.
Unfortunately, if you have been living like that for years, it is not possible to restore yourself in just a couple of weeks of vacation. Sometimes it actually takes quitting the job that sucks the life out of you, and then do nothing for a year or two. At all. And the whole year woman can just sleep, eat and lay around. Does it sound like degradation to you? Not at all, it sounds like a complete depletion of woman’s resources. It means that a woman spent so much energy on help that it got taken out from her years ahead. And that is the only way of rest that can change things.
It is very important to notice that. If you don’t, you may put yourself in danger of having serious chronic diseases, mental health issues, and loneliness. You are a very fine mechanism that needs constant care and lubrication. Take care of yourself and help yourself, love yourself, put yourself first. It is not selfish, because if you don’t do it, no one will. And it is especially accurate for mothers who forgot about themselves completely and think they can make someone happier like that. It does not work this way.
So, if you have found one or all of the signs of energy depletion, stop what you are doing now and do what brings you the most joy RIGHT NOW.
Based on the book by Olga Valyaeva