Have you ever thought about woman’s dignity? What is it? What makes a difference between man’s dignity and woman’s dignity? This is something that we don’t really think of much nowadays, but nevertheless it’s what allow us, women, rise above our victimhood, unhappiness and unworthiness. And the fact of the matter is, we actually need it like oxygen. Right now all what people talk about is usually man’s dignity, if you have noticed.
Woman’s Dignity vs Man’s Dignity
And here is the difference. Man’s dignity comes from actions, woman’s dignity comes from a state. For a man, his dignity is in thinking that “I get this. I can handle this”. For a woman, it is different. It should be different, at least. It is about “I am taken care of. I receive what I wish”. Modern women follow this principle of man’s dignity now, trying to be successful with careers and just be socially involvement in everything. And men also try woman’s dignity now, by staying more at home or just staying away from doing much and simply thinking “I am too good to do anything”. As a result of this, we have women saying “I got this” and men saying “I am not ready”. Isn’t that the truth?
And although it is clearly a mix up of natural gender roles, it is not really good or bad. It is just what it is now, and all we can do is to accept it, to adapt to it and move on. Or, if you don’t feel comfortable about it, or something about it bothers you, you can try to expand your experience by doing certain things. Or better yet, not doing them.
If you feel like you want your dignity back, woman’s dignity in particular, you can start with questions like “How do I feel when I do nothing? And how do I feel when someone else is doing it for me? How do I feel when I don’t have “doing” and I am just there, left alone with “being”? How am I in this state? Am I okay with myself? Do I love myself? How am I in relationships with myself, my partner and other people?”
This is how most people were brought up – they needed to do something and to earn good grades and receive praise from parents. Otherwise, we were not considered “good”. Luckily, our consciousness and mindfulness grow like crazy now, and we do have a luxury of making a pause and ask ourselves: “Where am I in all this hustle?” So then this is when we decide to bring back our dignity.
So what not to do to not lose our woman’s dignity? Here is a list for you.
When We Lose Our Dignity
→ when we are jealous. When this happens, that means we think we lacks something. Which means we stop seeing ourselves as something valuable and perfect, so we lose ourselves.
→ when we gossip. This also destroys our value and wholeness.
→ when we see other women as our competitors or rivals.
→ when we feel miserable without a man in our life. We try to stay away from being alone, when we are needy and when we tolerate something that shouldn’t be tolerated. These are the times we lose our dignity and ourselves.
→ when we allow ourselves to curse and to insult, especially men.
→ when we flirt with other men while being married.
→ when we pursue men. Also, when we try to control them and when we don’t trust them. That means we don’t trust ourselves and we don’t believe in our woman’s power and magic.
→ when we act inappropriate and rude. Including the times when we get drunk and act weird.
→ when we fight, argue and try to prove ourselves right.
→ when we disrespect men. And when we think men are lower than us and are only there to be used or to give us children.
→ when we rush and hustle, trying to please. Also, when we try to earn love.
→ when we easily get involved in sexual relationships. This one can be hard for modern people but really though, is it that hard? When a woman respects herself and values herself, she values her body too. She doesn’t think of it as a way of getting something, she sees it as a sacred creation, a vessel, a most valuable thing she actually owns. Body is our soul’s temple. It should not be a mean of manipulation.
→ when we abandon our body. This means – when we stop carrying about how we look, when we think that we are souls not the bodies. While we are for sure, we still live on Earth as human beings. And it is our duty to take care of our physical part too. This includes good food, water, enough of rest, exercises and other basic things that should be a norm. Treat your body as if it is a precious flower, then the rest comes naturally.
→ when we lie. We do that if we cannot take responsibility for our choices. That takes away our dignity.
→ when we smoke. Intuitively, people and especially men will know that if you smoke, that means something is wrong with you. There is something that you try fixing with smoking. That means addictions, which means psychological issues. By nature, every man wants a healthy woman, both physically and mentally.
→ when we “fight” for our happiness. This means when we do something do get something no matter what. This last part of the sentence is very dangerous for a woman. Because a woman that has enough of dignity would never think this way.
→ when we do things we should not be doing when we are not in committed relationships or married. And I will mention them all in just a minute. And before you start argue and defend modern lifestyle, truly think about – does it really, really make you feel happier in the long run, when you do these things? Does it make you feel complete and valued?
Now, here comes those things: when we don’t sleep at our place while we are still dating; when we passionately make out in public places; and when we are in civil marriage or live with a partner we are not committed to; when we take care of men by doing things a lover should not be doing but a wife should; when we give birth to children outside of marriage. All of these things are not really about being modern and open minded. They are really about the lack of self-value, self-love and lack of borders.
→ when we get into relationships with a married man. A woman with enough dignity knows that she is the one and only, always.
→ when we tolerate relationships that should not be tolerated. This includes: having an abusive partner, a partner with addictions, a partner who cheats, a partner who makes you question why are you in relationships. And every time you have a feeling that you should end it but you don’t do it for whatever reason.
In short, woman’s dignity consists of three things: self-respect, respect of others and full responsibility for your own actions. Having all three, woman has dignity that provides her an automatic respect. Dignity is awareness of our amazing, unique and beautiful feminine value. We shouldn’t earn it or grow it. We all have it in us by default, from the very beginning.
And one more thing. Dignity has nothing to do with self-confidence and self-esteem. These things depend on life events, our successes and failures. But dignity never goes away and is always there.
Let’s not forget about it, no matter what the social norm is or what is trendy today.
In the next article we will talk about ways of reviving our dignity and getting it back by asking simple questions. Stay tuned.