After receiving several requests about this, I decided to make an article. After all, if it was me, I would be really interested to find and read it. And if I am interested, you are probably too. So how to combine femininity and work? Is it even possible? And if yes, why for some women it seems like an impossible task? Is there such a thing as femininity at work? Here is my investigation and answers to some questions.
However the most important answers you will find within yourself, like always.
The Secret Revealed
I will tell you that (again) straight. The secret is that woman’s main goal in life should ideally be relationships. Yes, I mean romantic, personal, sexual relationships. The explanation here is because by default woman’s nature is so that it seeks to create relationships and will be mostly fulfilled within them. You can work on yourself by yourself as long as you want. And you will not be able to achieve such great and deep results with self-realization as a woman by yourself than in a relationship with a partner. That is the hardest but also the most fun type of journey. That said, not everyone wants or has them. That’s fair. Let’s look at those scenarios.
In case if you are single for whatever reason but want relationships, then ideally you should be directing yourself to not be single anymore, because of the reasons we have outlined earlier. That means – work until you are not single, and then primarily develop relationships or family, and only then – work, as a second priority. Until maybe eventually you can stop doing even that (but that’s not for everyone, and especially not for every modern woman).
In case if you are single and do not want relationships, that is wonderful. You are enjoying your life and freedom, doing the things you like and how you like them. Beautiful time. Then in this scenario, you need to make sure to still enjoy your life (and be a woman) even when you work. Because it will nourish you internally, womanly, emotionally, spiritually.
If you are married, there is an ideal scenario where a woman should not work because she has to but only because she wants to. If there is an issue with that, it is maybe necessary to re-evaluate why you are married and what do you want from this marriage. An exception here would be a common business where both partners are enjoying and contributing, and everyone is happy.
So now, let me explain something to you that will probably make a lot of sense and help you understand better on how to go about combining work and femininity.
Nature Of a Woman at Work
Let’s go back to basics. I have written about it numerous times here. What is the nature of a woman? And what is a woman? What is she made of? The answer is: she is made of the state, emotional and energetical. Woman is most powerful in her STATES, not her actions. This is a given just by default on how men and women function. Therefore she is the active creator of her own state and her own space – what inside so is outside. And that is the main answer to your dilemma – state.
The whole magic of femininity is in the ability to direct those energies and states to what she wants them to be and to chose those qualities that she needs depending on the circumstances. This is also about our amazing female ability to be flexible and adaptable. THAT is what you can do at work – create your reality where you can be more feminine, happier, more inspired, where you have more time for yourself and personal life. Woman is not only about being feminine externally, having a family, creating pretty space. She is also, if not mostly, about her internal magical abilities of creation and transformation.
So, if we keep this main answer in mind, these next points come naturally.
7 Keys to Combine Work and Femininity
1. Choose the type of work or career that fits your better, not personality-wise but nature-wise. That is a career that helps you open up your womanly qualities, that will make you more of a woman than what you are. Women are extremely sensitive, sensual, and emotional beings. Any forced work will only bring more sense of lack of freedom and depletion, and thus more desire to quit working.
2. If there is no option to get another job, then change the attitude on HOW you do everything at your current job. “How” is the key. How you fulfill your responsibilities, your duties, how you resolve issues. For a woman, it is important not to work but to work how SHE wants and ideally when she wants. That is when femininity opens up incredibly, everything goes smoothly. And mind you – you suddenly have a salary increase, which will happen because – you are beaming, you are full of energy, you are inspired. On top of that – you get new offers and promotions and no one wants to lose you as an employee. Examples are below.
This same principle applies to the space at home. If you create it like this, in this inspired state, everyone will want to come and stay at that place. It will be a restorative place because it is full of joy and love. Meaning – full of you and your wonderful state of a woman.
3. Work should be a place for self-realization, where you can show your talents and skills. So make sure to work at a place where you can demonstrate your amazing caring abilities, or your deep creativity, or your lovely manners and charm.
4. Work should be a place where you have fun and find pleasure. This should be something you sincerely enjoy doing, and not something you have to do for money. I will elaborate on who can do it a little bit easier and who can’t in a little bit.
5. Work should be about relationships. A woman is someone who seeks or creates relationships: romantic, personal, friendships, professional. It is all about relationships with her. Even when she talks, she does not simply relay information (like men), she creates relationships. So, create relationships at work. Of course, not romantic or sexual, please. I mean – personal where you don’t see just your colleagues, peers, and managers but where you see men and women. And then talk to them all like they are men and women. Experiment for a week and see what happens. People will feel that you CARE. If you talk to your male colleague, notice and appreciate his confidence or knowledge. If you talk to a female colleague, compliment her outfit or ask what kind of lipstick she is using.
6. Work should be about communication. That means if you go to work, you go there to chat with your peers and enjoy this process. You have to have an opportunity to talk freely. This is important for a woman.
7. Find a job that you would still do even if no one pays you. Yes, that is very common advice but it is true. If you think it is impossible, think again. Do you want to own a jewelry boutique? Start by crafting your own jewelry on weekends and offer it to your friends. And if you want to be a fashion advisor, start your own blog or Youtube channel. Start small but think big.
Male vs Female Work Principle
So, what can we see here? Working like usually for women means “like men” because this is how we all grew up, and how our parents were teaching us. They did not know better because their parents did the same exact thing. To break this circle, just remember who you are: a woman first of all. Then by definition “working like everyone” is not going to work because it contradicts your very nature. And that it turn brings exhaustion and infamous chronic neverending fatigue. Just remember who you are and what you are made of.
Here is how to understand it better. Working like usually is working with a male principle when you are required to go to work and have responsibilities there. And what is a responsibility? It comes from the word “response” or answer when you have to answer to someone for what you did or did not do. Now, think about something you do out of joy and pleasure, like taking care of or loving your children and spending time with your loved ones. Do you have to answer to someone for loving your children? No, you do it out of joy (and even if there is no joy in children’s situation, you still have no one to answer to). This is working with a female principle.
Examples Of “How”
Here are the exact examples on how to pay attention to “how”.
For example, you need to finish your resume and send it everywhere so that you can finally start doing the job you actually love. Instead of working on it seriously at your desk from early morning all stressing and worrying, do it differently. First of all, think about what you want right now. Maybe an ice cream? Great. Grab your laptop and your notebook, and go to a coffee shop somewhere where you can get your favorite ice cream and maybe a tea, and also make a draft of your resume. While you are enjoying your ice cream.
Which resume do you think will be more delicious – the one at your desk while you are stressing or from the coffee shop at your convenient time with tasty ice cream in your mouth? Keep asking yourself about what you want. If you want to go to a park next and sit on a grass, move there and continue on with your resume. Amongst flowers and butterflies. Your resume will be ready in no time.
The same goes for the next step – sending it out. Instead of tirelessly sending it one after another at home from morning till night, do it while you are together with your friends, laughing and in a great mood. Maybe you do it on the beach? Or maybe at your friend’s house? As a bonus, they may give you great support and wonderful ideas. Women unite!
The main idea here is “how” and you decide how exactly. These are only my examples and I really encourage you to feel what and how you really want to do it, and this will be the best way.
More Tips on Being Feminine At Work
❦ Make sure to look spotless at work, or your best. Your hair and outfit should look good and proper, you should have manicure (whether clean or fashionable).
❦ Always refuse to take night shifts. It is a strict “no”. This seriously disrupts your hormones and your overall health.
❦ Always keep something tasty as a snack. Preferably something on a sweeter side, because the sweet taste is very good for women and snacks, in general, brings some energy.
❦ Always find time for chatting, like I mentioned earlier. It can be work-related or not necessarily. Talking distresses woman.
❦ Spend as less time at work as possible (refreshing, huh?). If you don’t have an opportunity to shorten your workday, try your best to not stay at work after work hours. Instead, spend that time with your family and loved ones.
❦ In every task at work try to find something useful, something that would teach you a new skill or ability.
❦ Try to keep in mind that while you do your work, you are helping someone. Contemplate on that and realize that you are bringing goodness in this world by doing what you are doing. And the more you give, the more you receive.
❦ Woman is a creative force of the Universe. Apply your creativity and wonderful talents in as many areas as possible at work. Realize that if you can express yourself through your creative ideas, then someone needs that.
❦ Try to pick jobs from these areas: communication, beauty, creativity, health, or care.
❦ Do not be afraid to ask for help, especially from men. You will feel better and men will feel needed.
❦ Avoid as much as possible to take work home with you. Spend your free time with loved ones instead of with reports and emails. Do you work only at your work desk during work time.
❦ Monitor where you are during your work time – in the masculine (analytical, direct, persistent) or in the feminine (feeling, playful, taking time). Notice the difference between the two and try to maximize your feminine and minimize your masculine. Example: if you have an important meeting where you need to present and persuade someone in something, you can be in your masculine for that one hour. Once the meeting is done, go back to feminine for the rest of the day. Only use masculine when really needed.
Scenarios For Different Women
To finish, I would like to give a quick recap to the three scenarios mentioned earlier so that you can see a difference.
For single ladies, as well as single with kids, who want relationships and family: find a work that is the closest to you as a woman and that is the closes to your interests and talents. Then apply the tips I provided earlier.
For single ladies who are into a career and not interested in the family: the same thing, find a job that will still help you maintain your feminine qualities and help you bloom like a woman instead of depleting and exhausting you.
For married ladies: ideally, you should not work because you should spend time with family and have a hobby or a small business for your own pleasure (boom!). If you do work, try to work only part-time and somewhere where you don’t have to be all the time, somewhere flexible. Remember that the workplace should be a place where you enjoy yourself, where you can have conversations with others, where you get inspired, and have rest from your family and house. By working you are making a favor to everyone, not fulfilling a need. This should not be the place where you go for money to provide. If this is not applicable in your situation, then there is a matter of marriage reason which is an entirely different subject.
To give you a home task, try to search online for “female jobs” or “feminine jobs”. You’d be surprised. Here is a great list too.