After we have covered the three other archetypes earlier – Lover, Girl, and Housewife, today we will talk about the fourth one, and that is the feminine archetype of a Queen. Since these archetypes chronologically follow the age and maturing of a woman, I invite you to read the previous three so that you have a bigger and deeper picture. Each archetype is important and needed. And a wise woman knows how to use each of them in every specific situation. And to know that, she should learn about all five of them.
Let’s discuss the archetype of a Queen.
Element Metal – “Queen”
To understand why a woman needs this feminine archetype, we need to first understand the difference between the Queen and the Lover. The archetype of a Lover brings out the instinct in men when they want her as a female only. They want to possess her. Whereas the archetype of a Queen brings out the desire to conquer her. This is a different kind of state, not just sexual. It is higher than that.
This feminine archetype is about courage, order, and responsibility.
Interestingly enough, it used to be a different dynamic. This feminine archetype was not the most popular with growing girls. Right now, it changed a lot and every little girl feels and acts like a princess (aka future Queen) because they all know what and how to say to adults so that they can make things for them how they want. Little girls already know how to rule, basically.
What She Gives To a Man
This feminine archetype of a Queen gives a man one very interesting feeling – the feeling of constant stimulation. Again, not a sexual one. This is the kind of stimulation that makes him want to conquer more and more because he can never fully relax with her. Which is a good thing because that means a Queen would never have someone around who does nothing but laying on the couch and watching tv, as an example. She simply does not need these kinds of men.
For this reason, she also gives a man a feeling of exclusivity, the feeling of a special status, and prestige. Such a woman brings a feeling of mission in the life of a man, and even the desire to grow spiritually, some sort of direction in life. Queen would never directly tell a man what to do or how to do things, she simply correct the direction herself. Additionally, she can bring good and right friendships into a man’s life, right people and right connections, right information.
Often times this feminine archetype of a Queen is not so obvious in some couples. You would think this one couple is where he is the main provider bringing lots of money, and she is a simple housewife who always stays home and takes care of things. But if we dig deeper, and communicate closely with them both, we discover that everything he has achieved in life was because of her and her ability to find the right people at the right time and create connections for him. This is an example of a very strong internal Queen archetype.
What She Receives From a Man
As you can imagine, a Queen helps a man feel like a King. And in return, such a woman receives a lot of good things, including but not limited to admiration, respect, many gifts. And speaking of gifts. There is a difference here between gifts for a Girl and gifts for a Queen. If the feminine archetype of a Girl receives some simple but cute bracelet, with a Queen, you cannot approach her with something less than a diamond bracelet. Additionally, such a woman receives a man’s desire to be near her.
Balanced Queen Archetype
A balanced Queen archetype is full of charm and magnetism. These women are graceful, elegant, you can feel something regal in them. A Queen archetype is very careful and proper, discreet, and has strong principles and her own ideas that she follows. She always acts with great decency.
A woman with a balanced feminine archetype of a Queen would never let some strangers be near her, thus she has a very limited circle of friends. She also has her own castle or temple where not every person can enter. Everyone who is in her life and wants to take a place of her friend will have to go through trials and errors with her to earn the status of a truly close friend. So, trust is one of the most important things for her. If her trust is broken, or if someone hurts her, she cuts this person out of her life forever. Unfortunately, in most times a strong archetype of a Queen is a woman who cannot forgive fully. However, she is incredibly generous and fair. This takes us to the side of the excessive Queen energy.
Too Much of a Queen
A main quality of a woman with a strong or too strong archetype of a Queen is control. She always wants to know everything about everyone, she wants to participate in all decision making processes. It may be hard to establish good contact with her because of that. She tends to compete with men and tries to control things. She really loves logic and structure, organization and her ego is often rather big that can turn a woman into a bitch, a very prideful and cold person.
The excess of a Queen often brings repressed emotions. Such a woman does not want to show her true feelings to people, she does not want to open her soul and heart to just anyone. Because of that often times people would see her as cold and closed, sometimes even insensitive.
If a Queen energy is too strong in a woman, for a man it may seem as a lack of warmth and love, lack of understanding, and softness. That is why it is important to not stay with this archetype for too long. However, it works great if someone needs to bring out the instinct of a hunter. Because the tougher it is to get this woman, the more precious she is for a man. So essentially, such a woman is like a prize after a long and hard hunting. She would never just happen in his life and offer herself to him for nothing. She needs devotion, admiration, and in return, she directs and inspires.
So, if someone wants to be with a Queen, they need to know how to play her game, what is important to her and how to become a part of it. A man should never try to change her rules or principles, which leads us to another problem. Not all men would have enough patience to deal with that and such type of a woman is not for everyone. Sometimes a Queen can bring more problems to a man’s life, this simply means this man needs a different type of woman. And that is okay.
Lack of a Queen
When the archetype of a Queen is weak, it can be seen easily by the behavior of men around you. The opposite of the desire to hunt is the lack of it. So, men would not want to conquer you, they would not want to be your knight. A man would not want to do something for you, to surprise you, to charm you, to show you what he can do for you.
The lack of a Queen is when it is difficult for a woman to bring value to her image. This means: you know you are important and you have a certain value inside of you, but you are not able to share it with others and show them. This is also because of the lack of self-confidence or simple low self-esteem, disrespect of yourself as a woman, presence of fears and doubts.
One big indicator that there is not enough Queen energy in a woman is the inability to say “no. And also just simply say you want something different. So when you have an opinion and you cannot express it because you feel shy, because you feel like your opinion is not valuable enough for you to share it and to direct things how you want them to go. If a woman is comparing herself to others, if she tries to earn someone’s love, that is all about the lack of a Queen energy in her.
If she cannot live life how she wants because there are always rules she needs to follow. Or if she feels that her opinion is not important, that is the lack of a Queen. When people constantly save money on her, when there are no expensive gifts, plans or simple any money spent on her, that is lack of Queen. When everyone forgets or denies her requests, all of that means the lack of a Queen.
How To Find Your Queen Archetype
First of all, to find your Queen is to change your consciousness in a certain way. Because this feminine archetype is very much about internal attitude, not so much external. However, externally Queen is usually very stylish and often classy, expensive, and sophisticated accessories. All of this only to show her status.
You cannot touch the door because you are busy carrying your crown on your head – that is the Queen.
It can be a little hard to cultivate this archetype if you never felt or expressed it. But to start, try to do this little experiment. Take one day and during that whole day do not touch doors. At all. Do not open them yourself. Of course, you should still be mindful and don’t try to wait for someone else to open the door. If you live in the apartment building and someone goes outside every hour or two, it means you would have to wait for a long time.
Be reasonable and go somewhere where are people – like grocery stores, subways, coffee shops. And you are not the one who opens the door. Or, a variation of it could be to count how many times it was you who opened it and how many times someone else did it for you instead. You cannot touch the door because you are busy carrying your crown on your head – that is the Queen.
Another great practice is to go back to your true wishes and desires. Figure them out and start making them come true, one by one. If you cannot make your wishes come true yourself, who else could do it for you? So start with yourself, and become your own Queen. A part of this exercise is to allow yourself something fancy and expensive. Especially it is something you’ve been wanting for some time but would never dare to allow yourself.
It can be the same lingerie, the one you kept dreaming about but would never buy. Or it does not even have to be that same expensive one. It can be something cheaper but still very fancy. The trick with lingerie is a very interesting one, like I have already written: no one will see it but it changes the way you feel and even how you move around during the day. It reminds you all the time that you are a Queen today.
To help you even more and to strengthen your element of Metal, here is some more things to try to cultivate the feminine archetype of a Queen in you:
❦ Work on routine and discipline, on your free will. Try to bring more structure and organization in your life, and also try to lean towards fairness in everything.
❦ Be more clear and specific about your dreams, goals and plans. Keep your boundaries stronger and learn how to say “no” more.
❦ Learn how to plan things and stick to the plan, learn to set goals for yourself and reach them. Doing what you said you would do, even to yourself, is very important for this archetype.
❦ Pamper yourself. Buy good and expensive things, the best things. Even those of them that no one would ever see, like a toothbrush (but the best one!) or socks or tea (only the best quality). A real Queen would never save money on herself, and so she is always surrounded by good expensive things (of course, in accordance with her financial status).
❦ Use and wear more jewelry. Jewelry itself already represents the element of Metal, so gold, silver, and precious stones are very helpful. If you cannot afford any of them, you can try going to the jewelry store and simply try it on, and taste the taste of luxury.
❦ Update your look: create a more strict, put-together image, sophisticated and more regal.
❦ Learn how to say and accept compliments. If it is hard for you to do either, that signifies low self-esteem.
❦ Consciously work on improving and growing the qualities of a Queen that were mentioned here earlier.
In the next and last article of these series, we talk about the feminine archetype of Priestess.