Here is another topic where I will show you how following our gender roles by ourselves and in a couple can make us happier. Yes, happier, not more limited or restrained. Following hormones and hormonal patterns is following Nature. Once you follow your own Nature, there will be no need to fight, argue, prove, strike, suffer and cry.
Let’s go back to our basics, yet again. Men and women are different species, not only physiologically but energetically. We are COMPLETELY different energetic systems with different working bodies, minds, souls. By embracing and nourishing these differences we can become happier, lovelier, and more at peace.
We all have hormones, and in men and women, it works differently too. These are direct and pretty obvious indicators of why men are happier doing manly things and women are happier doing womanly things. Let’s take a look and you will see for yourself.
What Do Hormones Do?
Hormones are our indicators of what is going on in our bodies. It is a complex system that keeps an internal balance of things and supports various functions of the body. If a hormone gets disrupted, there will be problems with our health. For example, adrenaline and cortisol help us survive whenever we find ourselves in a situation of danger or stress. They save us from life-threatening situations. Adrenalin helps us understand to become scared and get ready, instinctively, and run to a safer place. Cortisol is a hormone that is very similar to adrenaline. It helps us to understand what to do when we are already in the middle of danger. Both of these hormones can make you pretty quick and strong, for a short period of time. Once the situation of danger is over, the body gets rid of these hormones.
However, if we are in constant stress and these hormones are being released all the time, the body cannot get rid of them that easily. This creates slow destruction of internal organs that leads to diseases and various health issues long-term. Usually, the most fragile and weak places of your body start suffering first.
In a body of a grown man, there is approximately 25 times more testosterone than in a woman. However lately, modern men’s testosterone production has dropped by approximately 20 times! We are now living in a world where an average man does not look like a man physically anymore. Due to environment, nutrition, chemicals in home products, alcohol (beer), stress men change. If you did not know, it is not very beneficial for a man to stay home for more than 4 hours, enjoying a cozy and peaceful atmosphere. This causes him to produce more estrogen, and we may have an idea of what that means. Men become more feminine.
Testosterone and Oxytocin
A good level of testosterone is directly connected to the sense of success for a man. A sense of success includes the ability to provide for the family and take care of its needs, the understanding that when a man does something to protect his family from anything harmful. Unfortunately, since gender roles are flipped, there is less and less need for men to do manly things when so many women do them now. However, there is a secret from Nature here. A simple male way of living helps regulate and produce a healthy amount of testosterone naturally in a man. If a man feels that he cannot make his woman and family happy, his stress increases, and his testosterone level drops.
A good level of testosterone is directly connected to the sense of success for a man.
Oxytocin is a hormone that is connected to the sense of happiness in a woman. You have probably already heard that before, but I can remind you why this is the case by sharing various scenarios in life and why we feel the way we feel.
There are situations and actions that increase testosterone and there are those that increase oxytocin.
Things that increase testosterone, and decreases the level of stress in men:
+ setting goals
+ resolving problems
+ practical results
After having read this list, how many of you experience this daily, monthly, yearly? If you are single or unsuccessfully married, you probably experience all of them. Now, let’s look at another list.
Things that increase oxytocin and decreases stress in women:
+ ability to share
+ group efforts
+ sharing of duties
What does it look like? This is basically a life of a woman, or how it should be ideally. These things are based on the Nature and science and the chemistry of our bodies. Fighting against them will eventually create health issues because fighting against our Nature is not natural, go figure.
Scientifically Backed Up Happiness
Additionally, scientists from China and Germany have concluded how oxytocin affects differently men and women. Women become more friendly and selfless when it increases, and men on the opposite. They tend to want to be alone, become more selfish, and see competitors in others. If a woman does not have a child but takes a baby in her hands, she may start producing milk due to the fact that she is holding the baby. She sees the baby in her hands and her body starts producing oxytocin automatically. How amazing is this?
And for men, the level of oxytocin does not affect or decrease the level of stress in men. It is important to remember that these hormones are not male and female hormones. It is just their effect on them that is different. So, a woman also has some level of testosterone and it is okay, but when she has too much of it, that is when it creates problems. And the high level of testosterone in a woman does not decrease her stress as it does for a man. We are different, and it is important to remember that.
Magic of Oxytocin
Here is another amazing secret. When a woman does not have enough oxytocin in her body, all of the female roles for her would be a burden. Female roles would be – a lover, a girlfriend, a mother, a muse, a host, all of these feminine things. Isn’t it interesting? So when a woman says “I just don’t like staying home/do chores/be a mother/be a wife/be a stay-at-home mom” or “I hate doing dishes/cleaning my house/cook”, that just means her oxytocin level is very low. That woman is stressed and tired. When a woman is not stressed and not tired, she would do all these things with pleasure and joy, which in turn increases oxytocin even more. If you have a place and people where you want to manifest care and love, then you will do it.
So, men can do all of the things that women can do at home – clean, cook, and things like that. Of course, they do, it is just not their responsibility really and it does not make them truly happy and relaxed. All those things are not a part of the testosterone-increasing list. These same things though would make a woman happy for sure, because if she is not tired or stressed, it would bring her joy. The idea of alternating chores at home now does not sound so appealing.
Where Woman’s Happiness Lies
The strongest oxytocin stimulation happens when a woman takes care of others or is being close
emotional relationships. But beware, that a woman can only take as much as she has received BEFORE. She is basically like a battery, or as an accumulator – what was charged will be given out. Now, if we think about a woman being in the outside world a lot or all of the time (meaning not at home), the release of oxytocin greatly decreases. Because of the things that I just mentioned above. So, at work, there is no oxytocin release because at work a woman is a professional and acts like a professional. She needs to make decisions, make priorities, reach goals, probably be stressed. She has to have male-like behavior there. Because the outside world is the male world.
At this point, you may think “But what if I love my job and it brings me joy?” Unfortunately, it would not increase your oxytocin also because joy is not what increases it. Look at the list again. You can only get that hormone increased if you have a feminine type of job. The main sign that you are getting enough oxytocin is when your family needs stays a priority no matter what. Let me tell you a little story as the ending to this article.
Some time ago when we were buying a house we hired a realtor who was our family friend. We thought since we know her, it would be great. She has a family and several kids. And although she was probably a great realtor, it was very often that instead of looking at another house she would tell us “I’m sorry but my son has a tournament and I have to be there” or “I won’t be in town next week because I am going to another state with my family” or “I will be late because my child is has a concert”. That happened a lot, and by the end, it made me a little mad.
We ended up finding a house ourselves, went to look at it ourselves, and convinced the seller basically ourselves to sell it to us. Was her behavior unprofessional? Yes, and many people confirmed that. But can you blame her? Probably not. Her family came first. And while it really affected her career (and perhaps she may need a different one), she stayed loyal to her family and she stayed full of oxytocin. I noticed it and back then I said “She probably should not work then!” 🙂
What are your feelings about this post?